Just A Side Note

Welcome to my unorganized thoughts and rambling.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Long Time No Blog

Hello everybody!

--To my 8 whole followers to be exact, whom, I'm assuming, no longer even blog. But, hey, that's okay. 

Five years ago I started this blog thinking that I had a very exciting life. Although my high school teenage life wasn't that exciting, it definitely was easier. Anyway, since it's been about 4 years since I have blogged, I'll catch my 8 follows up on my now, exciting, life. 

After losing my most favorite job to ever exist, I started working as a cashier at Schnucks. I lived the retail dream for about two years, and finally got a CNA job that I put off for some time, mainly because I had no confidence in myself and ability to work such a job. However, it has been the most rewarding and humbling job I could ever experience. Between working those two jobs, Adam and I broke up, but still remain good friends, and I knocked my gen ed classes out of the way at Rock Valley College. 

I was accepted into nursing school August 2013, and that was when the word stress became much, much more than just a word. Nursing school was the most challenging time of my entire life. I literally wanted to throw my body off a cliff at least 2 times a week (Kidding, I hope people can read sarcasm). I worked very part time at my CNA job and went to school full time. My life consisted of school, clinical, studying, and work for two years. Nursing school aint no joke, y'all. I seriously thought every person who told me nursing school was hell was exaggerating. Well, turns out, they aren't. It's hell. A firey, but rewarding hell. 

I graduated nursing school May 2015. One of the happiest, proudest days of my life. My work hard, full of tears--laughter and sobbing, had finally come to an end (I would insert an image here of my pinning ceremony and graduation, but blogger is being noncompliant, and I am unable to insert any images). 

I scheduled my NCLEX (Nursing state exam) for July 2nd. I was so nervous. I was more than nervous. I was the most nervous I had ever been in my entire life. On July 4th, I found out that I didn't pass my exam. I was crushed. Humiliated. Sad. Mad. Angry. Embarrassed. I felt sorry for myself. I had no one to blame but myself. I rushed through my exam. I didn't take my time. I didn't know the information properly. It came down to so many things. In the end, I did not pass. I hadn't felt that defeated in a long, long time. I was offered an RN position at my job, and I had accepted, but now I had to tell them that I did not pass my exam. I cried so many tears through the months of July and August, I don't even know how I didn't send myself into kidney failure from dehydration. 

I didn't give up, though. I took a week off from anything NCLEX related. After that week off, I continued to study and work hard. I was determined to pass this exam. It killed me that one exam was getting in the way of starting my dream of becoming a nurse. This exam didn't define me or the type of nurse I will be. I wasn't the first to not pass this exam, and I won't be the last. 

I retook my exam on November 4th. I'm not going to go into detail about it; however, it was the most mentally exhausting thing I have ever experienced. The next day, I found out that I had passed! 

Words cannot describe that moment. I was mainly in denial, so I had to take a picture of it. All of my hard work has finally paid off. I am so incredibly happy and thankful that I never have to study or answer another NCLEX question ever again. 

SO YEAH. That has been my life, in a nutshell, for about four years. Not that I need to remind myself of what has happened, although, it is nice to see all that I have accomplished and conquered over the past four years. 

I am a completely different person now. I am stronger. I am smarter. I am quicker. And I'm not as broke. Haha. 

As lame as this is, it was nice to blog again. Not that I did much before, but it was nice to see how far I've come. And how far I will go. 

"She never failed because she never gave up."

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